May 2012
28 posts
ShortFormBlog: Three protesters charged with... →
shortformblog:
3 anti-NATO protesters charged with terrorism, targeting Obama H.Q. source
» Molotov cocktails, or home brew supplies? That’s at question in the case of three activists arrested on terrorism charges, days prior to the NATO summit in Chicago. They’re charged with constructing explosive…
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Nothing more American than the (molotov) cocktail... →
I do kind of wonder how tense the political discussions at the Ricketts family Thanksgiving can get…
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The wisdom of book-reviewing crowds →
Call It In (The Backrow, 2012)
One of my favorite Backrow sketches from one of the masters, Matt Trupia...
[Lights up to a split stage. GABE and MARY are talking on the phone on either side.]
GABE: (sings) PJ Cluckers, the chicken you love to eat. (DEB crows) PJ Cluckers, where the chicken is kickin’, can I help you?
MARY: Yeah, hi. I wanted to place an order but I’m having trouble figuring out the menu.
GABE: OK.
MARY: What...are Skinners?
GABE: Skinners are skinless tenders re-wrapped in leg skin and deep-fried. Served with your choice of Honey Gusher Trio or Rancheroni Drizzle.
MARY: OK...and then there are Rippers, Blasters, and Splashers.
GABE: Rippers are where we take boneless thighs and literally rip them with our hands into a beer-batter, then drag them in breadcrumbs and poach them in oil. Blasters - those are Rippers with a chipotle twist, they are dipped in a blood-red glaze and left to harden before serving. Splashers...hang on. Let me get Deb.
DEB: Splashers are pieces of popcorn chicken that come with two choices of our signature Dunk Buckets: Jalapeno Extreme Yo, Buffalingus, or Cheddophilia. You fold the perforations on the box to make a little backboard and then splash the chicken off it into the Dunk Bucket. Play against a friend.
[Hands phone back to GABE.]
GABE: All of these are available as wraps, salads, or Fist ‘ems.
MARY: I will have to call you back. [hangs up, shouts down to another group of people.] Skinners are tenders reskinned with leg, Blasters are spicy Rippers, Splashers are like a sport against two sauces. First to ten wins.
ALAN: What’s a Fist ‘em? [reading the website]
DOUG: And can you get it as a Blazequake?
[MARY calls back]
GABE: (sings) PJ Cluckers, the chicken you love to eat. (DEB crows) PJ Cluckers, where the chicken is kickin’, can I help you?
MARY: Yeah, hi. What’s a Fist ‘em?
GABE: A Fist ‘em is a long tortilla tube that we fill with a special funnel and seal shut with a double-strained flavorless gelatin.
MARY: Does it come as a Blazequake?
[GABE hands the phone to DEB.]
DEB: We only do Blazequakes after 8pm, because the marinade is a three-part epoxy that smokes out the dining room. You can get it as a Fist ‘em, in a Lacerator, or as part of a Slurperstar Combo Shock. [hands the phone back to GABE.]
GABE: I would avoid the Lacerator if you’ve had any dental work done.
MARY: OK, I'll have to call you back. [shouts down to group.] Blazequakes after 8, a Fist ‘em is like a taco pipe, do not get the Lacerator. OK, I’m starving. I’m putting the order in. (calls back)
GABE: (sings) PJ Cluckers, the chicken you love to eat. (DEB crows) PJ Cluckers, where the chicken is kickin’, can I help you?
MARY: I want a Cramjack Crimper and I’ll “Add a Splat” of the Garlic Mayodust. Here, tell this guy what you want. [tosses phone to ALAN to place his order]
ALAN: Buffalingus Slurperstar Combo Shock with Smackaroni and Soul Slaw, turbocharge the Diet Dew. [passes the phone to DOUG]
DOUG: Cheddophilia Blaster with a Totpile and an extra-large drip tray. Can I get Bacon Shavers on top?
GABE: Do you want those Shavers curled or flat, and in shards or strips?
DOUG: Curled shards. [passes the phone to EMILY]
EMILY: I’ll have a Ripper Wrap in the Chomp-It size with a side of Skazzy’s Lemon-Pepper shellac.
GABE: Just a heads up, that shellac tends to becomes poisonous if it reaches room temperature.
EMILY: OK, let’s do the Atomic Balsamic. Then we’re going to split a Full Court Press Splashers with Jalapeno Extreme, Yo and...can you do the Barbecurious in a Dunk Bucket?
GABE: [looking over at DEB, who nods] Yeah, we can do that.
EMILY: Great. And a Beak Bag with a Horseradish Injectable. Is that like in a packet?
GABE: It’s a medical-grade hypodermic needle.
EMILY: That works. [passes the phone to BETH]
BETH: Hi, I’m a vegan, I was wondering if you had any- [GABE hangs up immediately, looks over at DEB, who shakes her head “No.”] Hello? They hung up.
DOUG: Maybe you can...order from somewhere else. Separately.
BETH: [looking at the menus] It’s...fine. Sorry.
[Lights out.]
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Let's Go O's →
Dare to dream. Again.
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Always interesting to peruse the most creative... →
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AMC says internet streaming is HELPING their... →
Let the people watch what they want to watch when they want to watch it! Everybody wins!
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Why Time Magazine book reviewer Lev Grossman... →
“The argument that financial institutions do not need the new rules to help them...”
– Rep. Barney Frank • Discussing a $2 billion trading loss that JPMorgan Chase had suffered recently as the result of a misguided hedge fund strategy. Frank, whose Dodd-Frank financial reform law has come under scrutiny by the banking industry for being too restrictive, is using this as an...
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I like a good takedown of a sacred cow as much as... →
So let’s consider the source. This guy is the Atlantic’s answer to the film critic Armond White: throwing contrarian darts at great, big, popular balloons. Or as it is called on the internet, “trolling.”
In case you needed any more convincing that this guy simply has an axe to grind, just read the description of his (out of print) book on Amazon.com:
Available for the...
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The sometimes fascinating, sometimes hilarious... →
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Cool, segmented interview with Richard Price; I... →
Specifically, that being able to write dialogue has nothing to do with being a good screenplay writer. (This coming from a guy who’s legendary with dialogue…)
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Interview with the multi-talented Phil Madeira on... →
Online learning is getting SERIOUS. →
What if we all had nothing but time and could just…LEARN?!
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I love the brave souls who take the long view on... →
April 2012
33 posts
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